Allow me to introduce myself
My name is Crystin Brewer. I live in a little beach town off of the Carolina coast. I’m married to my best friend and high school sweetheart and together we have two wonderful kids.
I am inspired by the deep complexities of life; not only the life that we live but the life that flows through everything and everyone. I’m fascinated with the universe and I love to question reality as we know it.
I didn’t always have such a profound reverence for life. In fact I was once like many other people, trapped in the exhausting pursuit of fulfillment. I desired all of the things that I was told was important: money, success, accomplishments. I believed that once I acquired these things that I could finally be happy. I measured my worth based on my outward appearance and success. But like most people discover, I found that these pursuits were like chasing the wind. No matter how much outward success I achieved, I still felt empty and unfulfilled.
Over the last several years I have studied many modalities to achieve higher consciousness, including: meditation, breath work, mindfulness practice, hypnosis and manifestation. Through these practices I was able to heal myself from a life time of crippling anxiety and free myself from the limiting beliefs that kept me trapped in a cycle of dysfunction.
My Dark Night of the Soul
It was the day of my 27th birthday party that I got the most devastating news of my life. My mom had overdosed on heroin and they could not revive her. She had struggled with drug addiction for my entire life and my worst fear had always been getting that call or finding her lifeless.
The loss of my mom destroyed everything that I believed about myself, about God, and about life. I slipped into the most painful tormenting depression that I had ever experienced. Yet, my pain had only just begun. The two years that followed my mom’s death was the most heartbreaking period of my entire life.
I experienced four more sudden deaths in my family shortly after my mom overdosed. Two of my aunts, my uncle and my grandpa. Nearly all of the people that had raised me were gone. I felt utterly alone and abandoned. I wondered how I would know who I was if I couldn’t ask the people that shaped me.
I call those years my dark night of the soul. But little did I know at the time, this period of great suffering would lead to the awakening of my soul. In that time of pain I was transformed from the inside out. The suffering that I experienced left me hallow and broken but it was in that emptiness that something new was able to grow.
TWhen I look back on those years now I find it absolutely astonishing that this state of inner peace and joy began with so much pain and suffering.
The lessons that I have learned throughout my life all came together into such a beautiful, messy, abstract piece of art. It’s still a work in progress and always will be, however, I’m able to truly see the process for what it is. I feel more connected to myself, the divine, and my loved ones now than ever before, but it came at a very painful price.
Through this podcast and blog, I hope to inspire your soul’s purpose to shine through. I hope to share tools that you can use to overcome the messy and often painful trials in life. I don’t claim to be all knowing or to have any magic program that will solve all of your woes. However, I can hold a safe space for us to discuss the beautiful, the painful and the possible. I can create a place for us to be vulnerable together, because it is only in our vulnerability that we are able to grow freely and love deeply.
Thank you so much for joining me in this adventure!